Aaron Burr, Sir
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Cast List:
Company | Hamilton | Burr | Laurens | Madison |
Mulligan | Lafayette
COMPANY
1776. New York City
HAMILTON
Pardon me. Are you Aaron Burr, sir?
BURR
That depends. Who’s asking?
HAMILTON
Oh, well, sure, sir
I’m Alexander Hamilton, I’m at your
service, sir
I have been looking for you
BURR
I’m getting nervous
HAMILTON
Sir…
I heard your name at Princeton. I was seeking an accelerated course of study
when I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours. I may have punched
him. It’s a blur, sir. He handles the financials?
BURR
You punched the bursar
HAMILTON
Yes!
I wanted to do what you did. Graduate in two, then join the revolution. He
looked at me like I was stupid, I’m not stupid
So how’d you do it? How’d you graduate so fast?
BURR
It was my parents’ dying wish before they passed
HAMILTON
You’re an orphan. Of course! I’m an orphan
God, I wish there was a war!
Then we could prove that we’re worth more
Than anyone bargained for…
BURR
Can I buy you a drink?
HAMILTON
That would be nice
BURR
While we’re talking, let me offer you some free advice
Talk less
HAMILTON
What?
BURR
Smile more
HAMILTON
Ha
BURR
Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for
HAMILTON
You can’t be serious
BURR
You wanna get ahead?
HAMILTON
Yes
BURR
Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead
LAURENS
Yo yo yo yo yo!
What time is it?
MULLIGAN/LAFAYETTE/LAURENS
Show time!
BURR
Like I said…
LAURENS
Show time! Show time! Yo!
I’m John Laurens in the place to be!
Two pints o’ Sam Adams, but I’m workin’ on
three, uh!
Those redcoats don’t want it with me!
Cuz I will pop chick-a pop these cops till I’m free!
LAFAYETTE
Oui oui, mon ami, je m’appelle Lafayette!
The Lancelot of the revolutionary set!
I came from afar just to say “Bonsoir!”
Tell the King “Casse toi!” Who’s the best?
C’est moi!
MULLIGAN
Brrrah brraaah! I am Hercules
Mulligan
Up in it, lovin’ it, yes I heard ya mother said “Come again?”
LAFAYETTE/LAURENS
Ayyyyy
MULLIGAN
Lock up ya daughters and horses, of course
It’s hard to have intercourse over four sets of corsets…
LAFAYETTE
Wow
LAURENS
No more sex, pour me another brew, son!
Let’s raise a couple more…
MULLIGAN/LAFAYETTE/LAURENS
To the revolution!
LAURENS
Well, if it ain’t the prodigy of Princeton college!
MULLIGAN
Aaron Burr!
LAURENS
Give us a verse, drop some knowledge!
BURR
Good luck with that: you’re takin’ a stand
You spit. I’m ‘a sit. We’ll see where we land
MULLIGAN/LAFAYETTE
Boooo!
LAURENS
Burr, the revolution’s imminent. What do you
stall for?
HAMILTON
If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you
fall for?
MULLIGAN/LAFAYETTE/LAURENS
Ooh
Who you?
Who you?
Who are you?
Ooh, who is this kid? What’s he gonna do?